Why Asking Is The Key To Success With Mark Victor Hansen And Crystal Dwyer Hansen – Episode 101

LFL 101 | Key To Success

 

Asking questions is a natural part of life and learning, and in this episode, Mark Victor Hansen and Crystal Dwyer Hansen explains why this is the key to success. They discuss their new book, Ask! The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny, to raise awareness about the power of asking, especially during this pandemic. They also talk about the ripple effect a question has on people’s lives, especially with the learning aspect. Learn how answering questions honestly can show you the inner strength that will change your life. They also give an overview of the roadblocks of asking and how practicing gratitude daily can show you the things you’ve been missing that’s just in front of you.

Listen to the podcast here:

Why Asking Is The Key To Success With Mark Victor Hansen And Crystal Dwyer Hansen

Our guests are Mark Victor Hansen and Crystal Dwyer Hansen. They wrote a new book, Ask! The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny. Both of these individuals have been incredibly successful throughout their careers. Mark Victor Hansen is the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series that has over 254 different books in print. He’s also written dozens of other books coupled to note here, The One Minute Millionaire, as well as Cracking the Millionaire CodeCrystal Dwyer Hansen has written several books, herself, Skinny Life: The Secret to Spiritual, Physical, and Emotional Fitness and Pure Thoughts for Pure Results: How Messy Thinking Can Make Or Break Your Life.

What’s important about this book that we’re going to talk about is, we’re in a state in terms of a pandemic or crisis or however you want to look at this and that the ability to ask good questions of ourselves is the way that we positively find a solution to the challenges that we’re dealing with whether it’s the stress, the finances, the fear or whatever that might be. The better we are at understanding how to ask questions, the more equipped we’re going to be for navigating this challenge that we’re experiencing successfully. That’s what this book is going to talk about. Let’s get into it.

Mark and Crystal, thank you for being on the show. I’ve already had the opportunity to read your book, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Knowing both of you and how successful you’ve been in terms of the number of books that you’ve written, I couldn’t list them all, or we wouldn’t be able to do the show. From that standpoint, why this book and why now?

What happens is, Crystal and I have traveled everywhere. We’ve been to 80 countries. What we discovered was we’ve met a lot of wonderful people. They’re talented, educated and likable, but what we looked at and discerned was there’s a big difference between those who are little successful and those that are vastly successful. Those who are vastly successful have one skill level. They have learned how to be what we call master askers. We want everyone to understand that you could ask because success comes out of the progressive realization of a worthwhile goal. Learn to ask so you can get to your destiny.

Wasn’t it one of your grandchildren that started out with the idea of the question?

Yes, little Everett. We had kicked around the idea. We started mulling over this book that as we started to ponder the power of asking, particularly in our own lives, we started thinking back about how it’s influenced us and gotten us through a personal crisis and things like that. We had started forming our ideas for the book and we’d gone to Hawaii on vacation. Everett, who had gotten a GizmoWatch for Christmas and he only had five people in the watch that he could call. It’s his grandparents and his parents. It’s for his safety, but he thought it was cool. All of a sudden, Mark gets a call on his cell phone and it’s Everett’s GizmoWatch coming up. He’s like, “How are you doing?” He’s like, “I’m good Grampy. Can I talk to you about something important?” “Yeah, buddy. Where are you?” He’s like, “I’ve gone into the closet.” It’s noisy out there because everyone was celebrating for Christmas. He said, “You know those Chicken Soup books that you’ve been writing?” Mark said, “Yeah, of course, I do.” He goes, “I liked those, Grampy.” He’s like, “I didn’t know that.”

We thought he was too young to be reading the Chicken Soup books. We’ve never had this conversation and he goes, “Grampy, can I ask you a question?” He’s like, “Sure. You can ask me anything always.” He said, “Are you and Mimi going to write any more books?” He said, “Yeah, we’re in the middle of writing one now. We’re thinking of a book called Ask!” He goes, “Okay. Can I write that book with you?” We’re like, “Was this the perfect story?” No shame, no fear. He was serious. He had strong conviction, a lot of confidence, not entitled, but sincere about, “Could I do this with you?” It’s a great idea. It got us thinking and then we started doing more research about why our children are unafraid to ask. It’s because we all come into this world, Patrick, with that natural human spirit. We want to know what, when, where, and we want more and more, and we keep asking for it. It’s a beautiful thing and then over time with life, that gets crushed out of us.

We go to school. You’re told to zip it up by the teachers in charge. Don’t ask unless you’re called on. You go out in the world or you share your ideas or you ask for things and maybe you get rejected, embarrassed or shut down. With jobs, a lot of employers who are open to taking feedback or if you have too many questions, they are like, “Do what you’re told,” whether it’s your job or military. Over time, people lose their confidence in asking. They lose their ability to ask and it becomes crushed. We talk a little bit more about that in the book, in The 7 Roadblocks to Asking.

We do get it squeezed out of us. We hear many times about what we can’t do, “That’s a silly thought. Stop daydreaming,” or whatever it might be. I certainly remember that. When I think of this book as I was reading it and the stories were fabulous and to me, it’s a combination as I was writing down a Swiss Army knife, a blueprint, and an owner’s manual. What I mean by that is, it’s a Swiss Army knife in terms of asking. It gives you all of the different ways that you can ask. Anything that you need to ask for. To me, the blueprint of that is I made some notes is, whether it’s personal, purpose, relationship or health, those are the blueprints. The owner’s manual to me, was what gets in the way. Those seven things that you’ve listed, it’s almost like any appliance that you buy or whatever. You go to the back of it and say, “If I’m not getting what I need or this isn’t doing what it needs to do, what are the recommendations?” Those 7 Roadblocks do that. What’s getting in the way of me asking good questions?

He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who doesn't remain a fool forever. Click To Tweet

I love every one of those little things that you hit, the Swiss Army knife, because what happens is all of us know the line, “Ask and you shall receive,” but nowhere ever has anyone written the book on ask. We were a little dumbfounded that we could get that title and take ownership of it and then we did this subtitle, The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny because we’re saying, “Patrick, if you’re alive, you have a destiny.” It’s probably not fulfilled and you’ve been incarcerated a little bit, which is government-imposed but when that release is, we’re saying, “What more important things to do is there than ask?” We’ve got Socrates and Socrates says, “The unexamined life is not worth living and the unexamined leadership was not worth having.” Leadership starts from top-down and inside out. It’s got to be self-leadership. You got to ask yourself, “What kind of leader am I going to be? What kind of person am I going to be? How am I going to take leadership in our family, business, life, spiritual and charitable role?” All of which we looked at and we said the few that make it our master askers.

You do outline that. One of the quotes that I had written down that I loved was, “He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who doesn’t remain a fool forever,” the Chinese Proverb. To me, that speaks to this.

Isn’t that true? It’s funny because we did a lot of research for this book and the studies show when it comes to asking others for things, help, insight or whatever you’re asking for, people are scared. The research shows that you’re 80% likely to get your request granted if you ask but we’re frightened of this. That’s why we need to study those roadblocks and identify which one or ones we have, which ones we’re carrying around because most of us have at least one or more of those. We use some beautiful stories, even in those roadblocks, examples of people’s personal journeys, because stories are powerful. They’ve become metaphors for our own lives. A metaphor is a pattern for our brains to follow. Our brain works in patterns. When we can experience something through someone else’s story, we immediately experience that metaphor in that pattern. We learn much more quickly through stories and the emotions of the stories too.

Everything we learn with the emotion create much stronger memory in our mind, but also stronger memory in our body. As a transformational life coach and hypnotherapist, I do this mind-stuff a lot, and it’s a real thing. We felt like it was important to include all these stories. We did 26 interviews for the book and a lot of research. It’s fun. The other thing we discovered about asking others and being a good question asker is those people who are better askers, in other words, in a business setting and they even did it in a dating setting are perceived to be more likable and intelligent. A better partner in general.

I love that when you were talking about the research that you’ve done for this because that was one of the things that I had written down was the Harvard study on asking and liking. How when we ask better questions of individuals, it creates an environment of liking. I do a lot of work in leadership and team development for organizations. That’s one of the things that we will talk about in terms of, we know from brain scans and images that people like to talk about themselves. The pleasure part of our brain lights up when we are asked questions to talk about ourselves. It falls in line in that research. I hadn’t seen that study either and I love that.

It’s important in that they also talk about listening to the responses when you’re asking questions and go deeper into that conversation. Instead of, “Patrick, where you’re from?” “I’m from Wisconsin.” “Where in Wisconsin? How many people are in your family?” Instead of going, “Where are you from?” “Wisconsin.” “What do you do for a living?” You want to go deeper into people’s answers. People feel that connection and trust much faster. That’s part of the whole asking journey. It’s opening up to one another more and being more curious about each other. In some ways, we talk about too isolated to ask and social media has us all superficially connected, but isolated with so much about, “Am I being seen or heard.” Not working on creating those bonds with other people that you create through asking and even granting other people’s wishes.

There were three things that you mentioned in terms of asking around clear communication, commitment to what you want, and then detachment from the outcome. I was wondering if you could speak to that because I think those three are important.

The three things are you got to ask yourself, ask others, and then ask God. What happened is when I went bankrupt in 1974, I hang out. I was sleeping in a sleeping bag in front of another guy’s room for six months and going, “I felt myself worth, my net worth with the shame and hiding undercover.” Finally, I figured out and I asked myself, “What do I want to do? I want to be a speaker.” I get to my three roommates in Hicksville, Long Island, New York. I say, “Any of you know somebody that young that’s not a doctor, a lawyer, a famous person, a celebrity that is making money?” “Yeah, he’s a few years older than you are. He’s in Long Island, New York. He’s talking. Here’s my ticket. You go and sit in my place. Tell him you’re me.”

I go out there and I go up to him. I asked him, I say, “Can I take you to lunch?” He said, “I love somebody to buy me lunch.” I said, “Can I ask you how to do this business?” He said, “You can, but you’re not going to make it. One in a thousand makes it. This is a tough business, kid.” I said, “Let me worry about that.” He said, “You stay out of real estate because I own this market in the five boroughs in New York. You do life insurance. I’ll tell you what to do, what to say.” I asked him and I wrote everything. I memorized it the next day I go out. Long story short, the first three years I did 1,000 talks a year because if you’re going to ask, the second thing is you got to take massive action, which is what you’re doing. Only Tony Robbins and I, as far as I know, ever did 1,000 talks a year. I do them at 6:00 in the morning, 10:00 in the morning, 2:00 and 9:00 at night. Whatever they wanted, I’d do it and then I sell in between and more talks.

LFL 101 | Key To Success

Key To Success: There’s a big difference between those who are a little successful and those that are vastly successful. Those who are vastly successful have learned how to be Master Askers.

 

I was alone. I had nothing else to do and I knew I wanted to do it. All of a sudden, I said, “They all say they want this story in a book.” I did my first book by asking fourteen people to cooperate with me called Stand Up, Speak Out, and Win! It went like a rocket. We sold 20,000 copies at $10 each. I made $200,000 in 1974. I thought I had the ride, Patrick, died and gone to heaven because they’re asking for my autograph. I said, “This is my bestseller.” It’s not the bestseller.” They all laughed and said, “What are you doing?” I said, “I’m asking you to buy one.” The first time I ever showed the book, I sold 37 out of 37 people in the room. I thought, “This is good.”

I wanted to follow up on that. That commitment and detachment and Mark has exemplified that in his asking journey to be an author because they did get rejected for the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, 144 times. You’re going to get a rejection. You need to understand that. You need to commit to what you want, to the asking journey, to yourself that you’re going to move forward and expect some rejection. We have a great story in the book of a guy named Charlie Green, who submitted it. He said that he saw Mark speak at a church in the Midwest. He said Mark gave this amazing talk and everyone was astounded.

He stands up after he waves this manuscript in the air and he said, “I’m asking you to pray for me that this book will get made.” He said, “We’re looking for a publisher. I’d like to ask for your prayers and I’d also like to ask you to fill out this order form and put your credit card down and I promise you when it gets published, I will send you the book.” Charlie said, “I was amazed that every single one of us did what Mark asked.” He said, “He was committed to getting what he wanted. We felt his passion, we felt his purpose and so we did it.” At the same time, you realize Mark had to be detached from the answers he was getting because with all those rejections, you have to detach. You have to say, “Keep moving, next.”

My background growing up, I was in sales. I was in biotech sales. Being the youngest of ten, hearing no was not a big deal. That’s something you deal with. It goes right off the other side of it and you keep moving, “Next,” and move on. I do think that’s a real struggle for a lot of individuals, one, asking a good question. What do you want? I know it’s been a struggle for me at times when I haven’t been clear in terms of what I want. Being able to ask a well-structured question in terms of what is it that I want?

It’s important to spend time with yourself. That’s why we say the first part of the asking journey is spending time with yourself, asking yourself, because you’d need to become clear. We all start thundering through our lives and we’re doing our routine day after day. Life’s coming out of us and we’re trying to keep all the balls in the air, but we’re not taking that personal time to ask ourselves. To do that deep reflection and ask those reflective questions that will reveal much to us about ourselves. The other research we did is, when you ask yourself questions, a different part of your brain lights up, and it’s a part of your brain that does critical thinking. Your brain goes to work for you when you start to ask questions. Question by question, answer by the answer, you’ll start to come up with a plan or an illumination or a solution will come to you, or a new idea that you hadn’t thought of before. That doesn’t happen if you keep powering through your life, doing what you’re doing and not being satisfied with it, you have to stop. You have to sit down and take those fifteen minutes minimum with yourself every single day.

We like the morning. We do this prayer and meditation time. We try to do an hour, but at the very least, if we’re incredibly busy, we get at least fifteen minutes and we’ll get up earlier to make sure we get that in because it’s that important. We ask each other question. We ask ourselves questions and we then contemplate and reflect and check-in with ourselves. We adjust. You have to adjust your course. The easiest way to do that is to ask questions. What’s working? What’s not working? Are we liking this? Is this relationship good? How would we improve it? What are the goals we’re trying to achieve this week? Are we even in touch with them? Asking those questions pulls you back into the plan.

People reading say, “Mark and Crystal can do it. They’re super successful, but I can’t do it.” Not realizing that most of the successful people that I’ve interviewed and talked to all have a similar story that they started out with some tremendous challenges that they overcame. I’m wondering for both of you, would you share one of those challenges for you that helps people recognize like, “You’re like we were. We can do that?”

It’s true, Patrick. It’s easy because we do think that we think when someone was successful, we look at them and go, “They had it easy. I wish I was like them. They don’t have the problems I have.” We’ve had tremendous challenges individually and together through things that we’ve had to work through. For me, one of the biggest personal challenges I ever experienced was when I was young. I was 21 years old. I was one of those kids who found high school to be easy. I accelerated my curriculum and graduated at age sixteen and married my boyfriend, who was five years older. It was not a great plan. Two and a half years later, I’m alone in a new city, divorced, with a baby on my hip, no job, no family or friends, and no idea what I was going to do next. It was a bad time for me. I came from this big pioneering family that is like, “You make your bed, figure out how to sleep in it.” I didn’t even think to ask my parents, come home and be all victimized. The only thing I could do was to think of getting food stamps.

I applied for food stamps and the day that I showed up at the grocery store for the first time when I received those food stamps, I was standing in the grocery store line, ready to turn those over and all of a sudden I had this huge epiphany and this question dropped in my mind and it said, “How did I get here?” Followed by a second question that said, “Are you doing everything you can to get out of this or are you taking the easy way out?” The minute that question came in my mind, I knew the answer. I wasn’t doing everything I could to get myself out of this. All of a sudden, I felt this intense conviction. I almost felt like this light was shining on me.

If you can get real with yourself, you'll find a new strength inside of you that you didn't know before. Click To Tweet

As I was handing the food stamps over, I said, “This will not be my future.” I’m saying that to myself. I still remember that moment looking at the woman, thinking to myself, “This will not be my future,” as I hand those over to her. I went back to my tiny little apartment, where I was getting eviction notices every month. I started asking myself, “How can I work tomorrow? Where can I go to work tomorrow and start earning money?” I’d heard on the radio temporary service agencies like Kelly Services. I called them, they said, “Fill out these applications.” I did. They said, “We’ll send you job opportunities every day. You can say yes or no.”

I started getting some opportunities, then I realized there were two more temp service agencies that I could apply to. I did that because I figured I’d get a better selection of jobs to choose from. I started taking those jobs and I was working, filling in an attorney’s offices or setting up booths and malls or working in sales at conventions that would come into town. I started to learn something about myself. I learned that I liked business and I liked sales. I was good at it. I liked people and it was fun to be a part of a team or work with people. I love it. I decided to put myself through real estate school. By then, I saved enough money. I went to real estate school. In the meantime, I’ve been approached a couple of times by people who said, “You should go model.” I approached the modeling agencies and asked them if they signed me. Fortunately, the larger one in our valley said yes. I did a couple of television commercials and fortunately, they went national so I started getting residuals. After that time where I was turning over those food stamps, I was working for the biggest home builder in our valley and I became the number one realtor and I was getting my residuals.

I had to join the Screen Actors Guild because they made you do that. If you are making a certain amount of money in residuals, you joined the union, but they pay great benefits. My little boy and I got amazing insurance benefits. I reflect back on that time in my life. I did again and again. It would have been easy for me, Patrick, to cave into my misery because it was bad. I was crying on my pillow every night. As easy as this process sounds now, it was not easy. It was tough and scary and it would have been easy to cave in. That’s what I’m telling everybody out there. We can’t cave in to it when he’s there. It’s easy to cave in to. I know it’s hard, but I’m telling you to start asking yourself those questions. I’m thankful I asked myself the tough questions, “Was I doing the best I could?” No, I wasn’t. I knew it. I’m thankful that I was able to answer them honestly. Part of the question process is to answer the questions honestly when they come out and get real with yourself. If you can do that, your life will change. You’ll find a new strength inside of you that you didn’t know before.

One of the things that you mentioned in the book, and it might be the preface to it, but it says that, “The ability to ask questions, it’s the only language to which the universe can deliver a solution, understanding illumination or a plan.” It is what happened.

You’re reiterating that exactly. When I was nine years old, I didn’t quite understand that my lovely blue-collar parents, my daddy, and mommy owned a little bakery, but you don’t make any money selling rolls at $0.5. It isn’t in the cards. I wanted this little handlebar racing bicycles. They weren’t in the US yet, but now, a Trek bike is at $4,000 to $7,000. It depends on what you want and I wanted mine tricked out. My dad couldn’t afford it. I didn’t understand that and I kept asking and asking. He said, “When you’re 21, boy.” I got them down to sixteen and it wasn’t working. I thought, “I’m a Boy Scout and it says in the back of Boy Scout’s magazine, I can sell greeting cards in consignment. I can afford that.” They gave it to me, I sell them, send half the money and I’m home. I asked my dad, “Can I have it if I earn it myself?” He said, “Free enterprise, it means the more enterprising you are, the freer you are, son.” Never thinking that I could turn around that money.

I start selling and not far from you and the snow was deep that year outside of Chicago. The snow’s deep. I go up to my neighbors. I got a big fur mitt and a cold red face. I go wiping my nose and seeing this lovely neighbor lady, “I’m earning my bicycle by selling these Christmas cards. Do you like 1 or 2 boxes?” Most of them took two for $4. They were like, “I got to help the kid out. It’s Christmas time.” I sold 376 boxes of Christmas cards in one month. Did I want to sell Christmas cards? No. All I wanted was that bicycle and I got it. Dad took half that money and like, “Here, son.” I just graduated. I had to put it in my college fund because he couldn’t see how he was going to pay for it. He said, “You’re going to learn how to pay for it yourself.” I am thankful for those early sales lessons where my mom said, “Smile big and ask and you will get the business.”

It’s two examples of how this does work from an early age.

Let me underwrite what you’re saying though. It works for everybody who will work at it but nobody has ever written a book that we know of to inspire people, to use the only methodology that works. You start with no money. You don’t have to start with any skill. You don’t have to have any particular talent. You don’t have to graduate from college, but you have to learn this skill. Whether you’re educated or uneducated, whether they’re skilled or unskilled, talented or untalented, this will take you to wherever you want to go.

It is amazing as you read through this too, thinking of the environment that we’re in, this book couldn’t come out at a better time in regard to how people are experiencing things. I will tell you it doesn’t take much to turn on the news or read anything that’s been printed. The questions that are being asked are not good questions in terms of creating a positive environment.

LFL 101 | Key To Success

Key To Success: We all come into this world with a natural human spirit. We want to know what, when, where. We want more and more, and we just keep asking.

 

We got this story in here by Jim Stovall. Stovall is nineteen years old and he spent his whole life running, exercising, getting bigger, strong and fast. He wants to be an NFL player. Sure enough, he gets recruited. He goes to the medical and the doctor comes back, shaking his head. Jim goes, “This isn’t going to be good.” He said, “Six months from now, you’re going to be permanently and forever blind.” Talk about crushing the kid’s spirit. You’re self-incarcerated in a little 9×12 room with only three things, a radio, television, and telephone complaining and moaning and his mommy says, “Jimmy, go to the blind meeting. Maybe they can help you.” It’s an echo chamber of negativity.

Fortuitously, he sets to a woman named Kathy, who is a blind stenographer for a legal court and they’re starting to chat. He says, “I used to love to watch somebody throw a right hook but I can’t see it anymore. I wish somebody would do something like that.” She elbows him and this is the lever for everybody reading. He says, “You all do what he and she did.” He said, “We’re somebody. Why can’t we fix this?” All of a sudden, the light bulbs went in at his head and he said, “Yeah.”

Long story short, they created Narrative Television. We don’t see it but fourteen million people pay $10 a month for a streaming service called Narrative TV. He then writes a book and that’s when I get introduced to him and I was amazed. I was selling 50 million books a year. I didn’t have time to look at somebody else, but I read it. I look forward and the backward and said, “This book is clear. It has to be a movie.” He said if he lives 100 years, he can’t thank me enough for writing that because it became a movie. It made $100 million.

We interviewed him for the book and he said the two last lines. He’s the wisest. I’ve never physically met him. I’ve never talked to him. He says, “I now write books that I can’t read and I now make movies that I can’t see.” If you take that and look at Joseph and the many-colored coat story in the Bible, it says, “What somebody else meant for your harm, God meant for your good.” Nobody wants to be blind, but he has made it an asset and a resource to his asset. We’re saying, all of us take crisis because eight billion of us are in crisis mode and turn it into a great opportunity like the yin and yang says. If you get the biggest crisis, you got to ask yourself, “How am I going to take advantage of this biggest opportunity and serve and fix something that needs to get fixed and get paid substantially for it?”

Do you think not enough people look at it in terms of practicing gratitude? Do you have something that you do in the morning in terms of your routines that you do?

You’re right, Patrick, and that’s what we do. When things are out of whack and we will do it even if we’re having a bad day, we’re like, “Things are getting off-kilter.” Our brains, especially in an environment like this, we have all this negativity. Everything’s bad. The news, the media won’t tell us anything but negative news and people are tuning in way too much because we’re all home listening. When we do that, it starts to shut us down. It is feeding our brains in a way that is the opposite of how we need our brains to be fed. When you want something in life and I know this as an expert in this area because I’ve studied the brain for a decade and a half. You need to tune your brain into what you want. You need to think of those thoughts every day. You need to envision a perfect outcome for yourself. You need to ask for what you want, but we’re seeing this negative, “This is bad and this is bad,” so people start like jam, hearing the echo chamber. “We don’t want this. We don’t have that.” You are inputting the opposite of what you want in life.

One of the quickest ways to change that is to go take some time, that quiet time and start giving thanks for every little thing you have. I am thankful I have a vision so I can see. I’m not blind. I have two hands, two arms and two legs. There are plenty of people out there who don’t. I have a great mind, I can think. I’m living in this country where we have freedom. I can create whatever I want. I can be whatever I want to be. Again and again, your family, your kids, and your friends. There is much to be thankful for because we start missing all that. The more we miss it, we’re like a magnet for what we have in life. We are the attractor field.

If you can’t even see what you already have, how is more going to come to you? You could get much more than you have right now and you still won’t see it if you don’t practice gratitude. The acknowledgment gratitude is the acknowledgment of every single thing you have. If we start with that, you start off by feeling rich then you can ask for more riches in your life. There’s nothing wrong with asking for riches. There’s nothing wrong with asking for abundance. It’s what children do. It’s what we were born to do with that human spirit that’s gotten squelched out of us. We need to focus on all the richness that we have so we become a great magnet to the things we want.

It feels like a dance at times where the expectation is, “I want more,” but gratitude is, “I’m happy for the journey and where I am in the moment.” It’s not comparing myself to somebody else, but it’s saying, “I want more things.” I’ll be motivated maybe to chase somebody else. I’m a runner. If I see somebody out there, I will try and catch them but I don’t go home deflated if I didn’t because it was like a rabbit for me. There’s a dance to it. There’s an expectation but there’s gratitude.

You could get so much more than you have right now, and you still won't see it if you don't practice gratitude. Click To Tweet

We’re going to request everybody to shut down negative news to fifteen minutes a day. You got to know it, but the average American is listening 2.5 hours a day. The thing is when I went bankrupt and was upside down in 1974, fortuitously, I stopped reading the New York Times because I live in New York. All the bad news to the truth. All the things that are going wrong because news intrinsically, it’s got to be a crisis. If you start studying positive stuff, listening to tapes, watching art stuff on YouTube, all that stuff, listening to podcast, it gives you what Zig Ziglar used to call a checkup from the neck up.

One last thing is that there is not one crisis, but three. There’s a physical crisis. There are some ways out of that. There’s the fear crisis, which is what we’re trying to cover here and then the third crisis, the economic crisis. If you cover your fears, you’ll make them disappear. Like Napoleon Hill wrote on the Fireside chats, “You have nothing to fear, but fear itself.” He wrote it for FDR. If you confront your fears, you make it disappear. The only way we think it works is if you ask, so may I ask you boldly? We want to ask every one of your people to get a copy of Ask! The only bookstore that’s open more or less is Amazon and then sends a receipt to MarkVictorHansen.com, to Reception@MarkVictorHansen.com.

We’re going to have the biggest book club discussion ever. We thought that would be much fun because we love to get together. We want you to read this book and then we’re going to do a big private group, a big private Facebook group and invite everybody in. We will have this discussion and see how this applies in your life. We think that it helps people move forward and feel better. We’re trying to contribute as much as we can to help people move forward after this crisis and become the best they can be.

As you said, Patrick, we’re thankful our book came out of this time. It’s funny because a lot of publishers started postponing the release of all their books and we did have that discussion because ours was to release on April 28th. Right in the middle of the pandemic and we said, “What are we going to do? Are we going to postpone?” He said, “No. The horse has left the gate already. We’re going to plow forward,” not knowing. We swear, that’s the way God wanted it because we have done many podcasts. The feedback we’re getting from people is much gratitude for having this message.

I told you before we started this, that you were kind enough to send me a PDF copy of it to read prior to this. I bought the book and my son graduated this year from college and I’m given the copy to him. He had four years of formal education. This to me is a life education. When you’re talking about the pandemic and not potentially bringing this book out at this point, I think the opposite. This to me is a treatment. It’s like a therapy for what’s more damaging to us as a society. It’s what mentally is going on with us and emotionally and this book addresses that.

Thank you for mentioning that and we’re thankful. Honestly, I don’t know why ours came out, but we are giving thanks that it did because it’s the most important time it could ever have come out. Thank you for that.

Let me make your thought and macro-wise it or make it bigger if you don’t mind me to say that what’s true is that everyone should get all the academic education they’ve gotten. Otherwise, you got a good one and got to spend time in graduate school, the smartest, Buckminster Fuller or Einstein’s Best Students who read 40 books in geodesic domes and inventions. He was the Leonardo da Vinci of our time and said, “Let’s make the world work for 100% humanity.” That is academic education. What you said though, is it everyone’s got to have a self help action education so they become self-determining because 30 million Americans are not going to have a job when this is over.

I’m telling you that there’s a book that we’ll give you a free. If they go to MarkVictorHansen.com, we’ll have it up called How to be Up in Down Times. I teach seven businesses that are going to do $50 trillion in this decade. One of which we’re advisors to called a QCI in Michigan. The guy spent $300 million in twenty years figuring out how to take all garbage turned into a resource. He needs to hire 22 million people once Michigan’s governor releases people back to freedom.

It’s amazing because all of us create bipods of garbage a day, whether you want to or not. It’s what is. Every 10,000 landfills in America are full. We can’t ship it anywhere anymore. What he figured out, how to do is with every molecule, every atom turned metal back to metal, glass back to the glass, plastic back to plastic, and water back to the water. It’s exciting if you’re awake and the people have got to say, “I did that, but you might have to pivot. You might have to reinvent yourself.” You got to ask yourself, “How am I going to reengineer myself and revitalize myself to new leadership?”

LFL 101 | Key To Success

Ask! The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny

You have to ask new questions.

I will say one last thing that reminds me of how do you take this and put it into action is I know that myself, I don’t want to be Peter Smith.

Isn’t that the most tragic? The brilliant genius guy. None of us wants to be Peter Smith.

That practiced and practice and had all the preparation, but never did anything.

All the education and the smartest guy in the world.

There are a lot of those.

Zig Ziglar used to say exactly at that point, “Someday I’m going to do.” There is no someday. There’s Monday, Tuesday, and there’s today.

I don’t know who said this, but I remember somebody else saying, “That person has a lot of potentials, which means they haven’t done anything yet.”

By the way, hitchhiking on that with your permission is that, nobody should be buried with their potential in them, their music, their books, their invention, their thinking in them and their love of their life and all that. It’s critical.

Everything we learn with emotion creates a much stronger memory in our minds and our bodies. Click To Tweet

Like Rita Davenport says in one of the other stories in the book, which I love her story, “Get Your Ask in Gear!”

I want to thank you both for taking the time to speak about such an important book. I have appreciated reading it, having a conversation with you, and I’m certainly looking forward to sharing it with my oldest son too.

Thank you, Patrick. It’s wonderful to be with you.

Mark and Crystal have put together an incredibly valuable book. As I had mentioned, to me, it feels like a Swiss Army knife, a blueprint, and an owner’s manual for how you ask effective questions. That is going to be the key to getting out of this or to whatever challenge comes up, whether it’s now, in two years or in five years, it is about asking better questions. We all have the ability to do that and this book provides a structure to how you do that most effectively. If you know somebody that would benefit from reading this episode, I’d asked you to forward it to them. If you haven’t subscribed yet, please subscribe. It would mean the world to me if you would leave a rating or a comment on this or any other episode, and until our next episode, I hope you’re able to rise above your best. Peace.

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